Today my Mamaw would have been celebrating her 78th birthday. I think about her and miss her every single day. Of course there's the old cliche that you don't know what you've got until it's gone, but in that case I don't think it's true. I knew what I had, and I loved my Mamaw like crazy. Of course, there were times when she drove me crazy, too. All good relationships are like that. But what I didn't realize until she was gone was just how much she had influenced my life and the person I have become. I wish that I could tell her thank you for that. Mamaw passed away when I was 21. Andrew and I had just gotten engaged a couple of weeks before. She didn't get to be there for my wedding, and she'll never get to meet my kids. But I'll have so many stories to tell them about her. And it's because of her that I'm the person I am. Every once and a while little things will dawn on me, and I'll see her influence in my life. As you can tell from reading my blog, two of my favorite things are cooking and reading. Mamaw was such an amazing cook and always encouraged me to help her in the kitchen. We would spend weekends together picking out recipes and cooking away. My earliest memory of reading are of the cassette tapes Mamaw used to record of her reading me stories so I could listen to them when she wasn't there. I'd give anything in the world to have just one of those now.
For my cousins and I, Mamaw was a constant in our lives. She was there for us at times when our parents couldn't be. For me, she was there through my parents' divorce. I was only 2 years old when my parents divorced, but I know it would have been a much more difficult time in my life without Mamaw there to shield me from it. Mamaw lived through some difficult times in her own life, but I remember the big smile she would have on her face any time she was around her family. Thinking about her tonight, I have a smile like that now.
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